I have the privilege of being a part of a group of professional folks across industries and areas of the country who come together in a web conference once a week to discuss several topics related to goals, plans, and other things of the like. I call it a Mastermind Group. One of several I am a part of. We share ideas and ways to help each other achieve goals or solidify plans into actions. It is a safe and encouraging space where each of gets more that we originally expected upon joining. It is awesome and one of the best things I participate in.
This week, one of women in the group asked a question after a brief discussion we were having on how the week is going, “How do you know if you’ve had a good day? What constitutes a good day?” After a brief pause of a few seconds and no one had spoken up to answer, I heard my voice speaking to her. Yes, I was surprised too. Apparently, my subconscious mind had something to say, so I gathered myself and began to address her directly and kindly as if we were the only two people there. I then re-stated her question to be sure I was clear on what she needed to know.
“How can you tell if you’ve had a good day?”, I asked. I knew what it meant to me to have a good day and it is not anything particularly grand or is always blaringly obvious, but I wanted to impart that it could mean many things depending on the day. Here are three things that I spoke to her and the group about what a good day could be.
Do Every Day an Action that Helps You to Get to Your Goal
When we have goals or a plan to do, be, or have a thing. It is important to be clear about it and oftentimes it means to write it down. This helps us to sort it out and really understand what it will take from us to get there. That could be in a daily planner or a journal, an index card, or anything physical where you can pick it up and see what your goal is and do at least one thing toward the attainment of that goal. I explained that for me, I like to use a daily planner primarily. I write down all the parent or big tasks I must do on a sheet of notebook paper, and then jot down the child or smaller steps in a list to do to feel accomplished by the end of each particular day, in the daily planner. It does not have to be a long list it could be one thing or five things. As long as it contributes to moving me forward and toward my goal, it is good enough. Each day plan your day. Have a purpose for every day. As you go about your day and you are checking off item after item on your list, you come to the end of it with a confident and accomplished feeling. If you can go to sleep at night knowing you have completed even one thing toward your objective. It was a good day.
Be Consistent and Persistent
I saw her nodding and smiling in the video along with others and I knew that it helped her in some way. I went on to say how important it is to also be consistent in that daily action, however small or great. Everyone’s goals are different, so the intentional actions that go into a day will be as well. The point is to develop a pattern or habit of consistently doing a thing or things that move you forward until the goal or purpose is reached. Of course, when you mark one item off, there is another to take on. That’s good! Write it down for the next day. What is the next step? Keep moving. Granted, there will be days when you get weary or when you need a break but be careful about lingering in those spaces. Therefore, writing your goal or purpose down tangibly on paper so you can whip it out and remind yourself of it and get invigorated toward it. Soon, once you have established a regimen of daily doing things that lift you up toward your plan, it will become so ingrained in your day that you do it by rote. Consistent and persistent productive actions each day set in motion a law of the Universe that works entirely in your favor. There must be a corresponding return for your actions. It is a law of nature. I remember saying to the group that no matter how frustrating things can get when you do not see immediate results, no matter how many detours or re-writes you might have to make, stay focused. It is also important to be flexible because as much as we would like to have things our way all the time, it does not always work out like that. The key point is to be bendy enough to adapt to change, but to be steadfast enough stay the course. You feel good and at the end of each day you can see your efforts bring you closer and closer to your goal. Take one good day at a time.
Be Patient with Yourself
My final point to her was to be patient with herself. Journeys are just that: journeys. I expanded on the idea that we ‘want what we want when we want it’ and that is normal. One of the things that separate success and achievement of our plans is the ability to be patient with the journey, with ourselves. Some goals conjure in our minds simply to make us appreciate or learn something about ourselves. It is not always about the goal. I had to learn this. Many times, having a goal and working toward its attainment changes or reveals something about the person on the road. That is good. It is quite possible to learn patience and perseverance even when you thought you already possessed those qualities. Things will go awry; you will have a day or two when you need to rest. There will be circumstances beyond your control that will affect your progress but be patient with yourself. Remember to keep your thoughts and feelings in a positive space that supports you. Take the necessary time you need to regroup and recapture the energy you need to continue. Beating yourself up about not getting all the things you had on your list done by a certain time does not serve you. You did one thing that day. That is good. You were intentional and you know that given the opportunity the next day, you will continue on invigorated and ready to get on with it again. Important things take time, so be patient with yourself and with the journey to get to your goal. Do not worry about what others are doing in their journey, try not to make comparisons. The only comparison you should make about your current day is with the previous day. You can see it. It is there on the paper you wrote your actions on. That is the only comparison you need to help get you where you are going. I am not saying you cannot find inspiration in another person’s journey or success but be mindful that your journey to your goal is yours, and only yours. Do the things that are good for you, that are aligned with your plans. No matter what that looks like in action or time.
Final thoughts
After I had shared those with her (and the group) I did not have to ask her if she understood what could make a good day for her. I could see in her face that she had decided to remove unrealistic expectations of herself. We all do that, set unrealistic expectations based on what we think other people are doing or how grand we see the goal is in our minds. I learned this and refrain from it as I found it does not serve me in a positive or productive way.
Of course, it encouraged more ideas and tips from others to add for her. There was so much varied feedback from different backgrounds and experiences. It was good. She asked a valid question. I was happy to contribute to helping her realize what a good day could mean for her. Everyday can be a good day if we only allow ourselves the opportunity to see one, to expect one, to make one.
ronecole 